It's Back.

Save me. The emo virus is back. This song keep playing in my mind. Where is the stop button?

爱情这东西没道理的
有人很抢手有人没资格
路是人走的我害怕什么
大不了别爱了
她像个天仙她太美了
我那么平凡我开不了口
心里面晓得追她的结果
幸运的不是我
我没那种命呀她没道理爱上我
英雄和美人哪是一国的
只怪爱人太少了对手太好了劝自己别傻了
以前甭提了以后非加油不可
我没那种命呀轮也不会轮到我
爱情老是缺货我争什么
时间越来越少了越来越老了我剩下一个梦
她走过来说其实我错了
她爱我
她走过来说其实你错了
我爱你

My Love for You Is Something I'm Afraid of

Today, a friend of mine share this poem with me. I don't know why but as I start reading, my eyes turn watery. I don't know what to write already. I'm seriously affected by it.

Enjoy the poem.

My love for you is something I'm afraid of.
You're all grown up, and I am still a kid.
You tell me that you love me. I believe it.
But something in me says this isn't good.

You touch me and I melt into your yearning.
You kiss me and I never want to stop.
I dream of you whenever I'm not with you.
And yet I cannot trust you - not just yet.

Yes, love and trust must always go together,
And it's a sign of trouble when they don't.
You are a man, and I not yet a woman,
Too young to know exactly what I want.

You say you'll wait for me, which makes me happy,
As I, too, wait for me to find my way.
Years are sunlit space for me to grow in
Until we can love boldly, eye-to-eye

By Nicholas Gordon

New Chapter Of My Life?

Since I had my operation, I been trying very hard to piece all the broken parts of my life back together. I'm now back on my feet and moving toward already. One of the biggest step I took was to confess this girl which I like since my NS days. In my life, there are only 3 girls that I had strong feeling for and she is one of them.

One of my friend asked me this, "You just had a huge fall and you still not scare? Are you sure about it?". I did not answer my friend but that night I think hard about it. Yes, the fall was really painful but that's LIFE. You fall but you have to stand up again to move forward. Remain seated is safe but you will be struck there. I want to explore new area so I choose to take up the challenge. I really hope this time round, I can reach a place where I can label it as a Paradise. I seriously believe that having her in my life will bring lots of color to both our world.

However, by the looks of it I think it is tough. I'm trying my best to move forward but she is too scare to move out of her comfort zone. I been encouraging her but I'm just not a very good speaker and I'm unable to convince her. I was never good with girls. I don't know how to sweet talk.

Despite being multiple rejection by her, I decided to keep trying again and again. I believe that one fine day, I will be able to melt the solid heart of hers. But today, I think she start finding me irritating and naggy. Am I trying too hard that I burn my own chance? The whole night I was very emo and I miss her but I don't dare to call her. I keep thinking about how I should make my next move but I'm lost and confuse. I do not know what to do next but I really do not wish to give up. Why am I always the one getting hurt?

付出的一切值不值得
永远不会有答案
只有天知道我有多么爱你